Let’s be real. The Cosmo quizzes I loved as a teen did not prepare me to navigate over a decade of relationship bliss. I no longer had to know “Are You Enough of a Bad Girl?”, “What Your Favorite Side Dish Says About Your Sex Life”, or “What Your Favorite Halloween Candy Says About Your Relationship Status”. These are all legit Cosmo quizzes, by the way. (I did, however, enjoy the quiz, “Are You Too Old for This Shit?” Yes, yes, I am.)
So, for all you lovely readers I wanted to provide a more accurate, and educational, answer.
1)What is the most important question you’ll ask your bae today?
a) Do you feel naughty or nice
b) What’s your deepest secret
c) How do I know when I’ve reached bad ass status
d) Can you pick up coffee on your way home
Obviously, D. At some point coffee becomes more integral to life than reaching bad ass status.
2)What do you think is my best quality?
a) My long, silky legs that look fab in a string bikini
b) My BFF’s backstage passes to Justin Bieber
c) My rad new mustang
d) My strong hands...to open up the pickle jar (It’s like they don’t want us to eat them.)
Again, D. I’m starting to see a theme to this quiz.
3)What does your perfect date night look like?
a) Reciting Shakespeare over zoom in candlelight
b) Feeding each other locally sourced strawberries covered in chocolate
c) A long walk on the beach followed by a gluten free, vegan dinner
d) Take out Chinese and binging on Game of Thrones...children at grandma’s
Umm, D. Although, chocolate strawberries sound yummy.
4)What does your dream wedding look like?
a) Under the stars with Ed Sheeran singing “Thinking Out Loud”
b) A beach in Hawaii with a white orchid in your hair
c) Vegas, Baby!
d) Within budget because we just bought a house in the burbs
D is the winner here. Mortgages are a bitch.
5)Where do you see yourself in 25 years?
a) Lounging naked on the deck of a yacht named “Baby Got Bass”
b) Drinking Dom in Paris
c) Getting hair replacement treatments
d) Sitting with my love laughing at how ridiculous I am
If I’m lucky, D.
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