The Rocky Road of Resume Rejection

                Looking for a job is frustrating, overwhelming, and terribly lonely. I just want someone to tell me how elegant my filing systems are and how my excel sheets are like a work of art. Sending out resume after resume, into what feels like a void, makes me feel like I have nothing of value to share with the world. When I hear other people talk about how they get complimented at work, even for things that should be easy like writing grammatically correct emails and not losing their sh*t with customers, I feel all sorts of jealousy rolling around in my tummy.

Apparently the best way to find a job now is networking. To me, networking means small talk and small talk is boring. I can deal with discomfort, but boredom makes me sigh loudly and slump in my chair. Like, I don’t care how you feel about another day of rain or how you’re adding soft close kitchen cabinets or what your new favourite excel feature is. (Actually, the excel thing might be interesting.) I want to know what makes you feel so much joy that you lose yourself in the moment or what makes you cry in the shower because you just feel so defeated. But most humans, especially those you don’t know well, just aren’t comfortable sharing the parts of themselves that really matter.

So, how do I get through this job searching awfulness? Right now, it’s listening to Pink Pony Club and letting my finger tips flutter over the keys so that for a few minutes I can get lost in a world where an exposed heart matters more than paying the mortgage.

Week 10 Kindness Story: 3 Things I've Learned About Kindness

 

  I may not be able to fix the economic, political, environmental, and social problems plaguing the world, but I can focus on making another person's day just a little easier or more enjoyable. Hopefully reading these kindness stories has brought a smile to your face and a warmth to your heart.

After some contemplation, here are 3 things I learned about kindness over the last 10 weeks:

1)Kindness asks for vulnerability. Being kind means showing up with an open heart which can feel scary but it’s how we bridge the disconnection that leads to loneliness.

2)Kindness calms anxiety. Focusing on what other people need gives us a momentary break from languishing in our own struggles.

3)Kindness feels good. I know this sounds simple but I’m trying to do more things in life that just feel good.

Week 9 Kindness Story: A Chance Meeting

 

When we're struggling, a kind gesture from a stranger can make us feel seen and supported. My partner, Kevin, shared a story about how two strangers (we'll call them Ross and Mark) connected over beer.

     Kevin was working in a tasting room and noticed that Ross seemed to have a number of stressful phone calls about a financial issue. When he finished his phone calls, Mark approached him and asked if he was going to get another beer. When Ross said he was saving his money Mark kindly placed a $20 in front of him and said, “Why don’t you get one for each of us”.

    Ross was stunned and it took a few moments before he could respond but they spent the next couple hours chatting over a beer. I don’t know if they talked about their problems, fantasy football, or movies they’ve seen but I highly suspect that Ross will never forget that kind gesture.

Week 8 Kindness Story: In the Eyes of an Orangutan

    Looking into the eyes of an animal can be disarming; they have a way of being with us that feels accepting and supportive. My sister shared a story with me about a special connection developed between a young man and an Orangutan at a wildlife refuge in Borneo.

    The young man, a university student, had gone to volunteer at the wildlife refuge but soon became homesick. One day a male orangutan sat down next to him on a log and gently put his hand on the young man’s leg to comfort him. The young man looked into the compassionate eyes of the orangutan and could feel the concern the animal had for his new, human friend. 

    I think most of us could use an emotional support animal. I’m more of a cat person, but if an orangutan wanted to move into our condo, I wouldn’t say no. 

Week 7 Kindness Story: A Week of Random Acts

    I enjoy it when research validates my belief that being a good person is beneficial for everyone involved. Recently, I stumbled upon a study conducted by Oxford University and Kindness.org that predicted an improvement in wellbeing for those who performed acts of kindness for 7 days in a row.

    The results showed that performing at least one act of kindness for 7 days straight increased happiness, life satisfaction, compassion, trust, connection, and feeling positively about humanity. Further to that, the study found that the more acts of kindness that were performed the more wellbeing was boosted. 

    This seems like a win-win situation to me. Being kind to others is also being kind to ourselves.

    

Week 6 Kindness Story: Paying it Forward

 

Have you ever bought the car behind you their Grande Mocha because the car in front of you paid for your Tall Caramel Frappe? I like to think of this as a kindness train. My mom told me a story about how she recently hopped on one such kindness train.

She had gone shopping at a local deli and when she went to pay with a $100 gift card, she was told she could only use that particular card online. Let's just say this didn’t go over particularly well. A kind man in the line up behind her could see how flustered and angry she was so he offered to pay for her order. At first my mom tried to stop him, but he insisted.

When she got home, she decided the best thing she could do was pay the kindness forward. She decided to give a donation of $100 to Doctors Without Borders because it made her feel good to help less fortunate countries in some small way. It's heartwarming when people do what they can to keep the kindness train chuggin' along.

Week 5 Kindness Story: The Kindness Adventure

 

Children remind us that kindness can be an exciting adventure instead of an awkward chore. Watching them share joy with such authenticity and ease is inspiring especially when they are dealing with their own struggles.

My sister, Laurie, has spent many years volunteering as a counsellor at summer camps for children and teenagers who are struggling with cancer. She shared with me this lovely story of a 10-year-old boy.

The camp had a Carnival Night where children played games to win “bucks” that can be used to buy toys. What stood out about this boy was that he was running from game to game trying to collect as many bucks as possible. After the Carnival ended, the counsellors helped him count his bucks and he bought a beautiful doll. What was so kind about that? The prize he won wasn't for himself but a gift for his younger sister.