Week 5 Kindness Story: The Kindness Adventure

 

Children remind us that kindness can be an exciting adventure instead of an awkward chore. Watching them share joy with such authenticity and ease is inspiring especially when they are dealing with their own struggles.

My sister, Laurie, has spent many years volunteering as a counsellor at summer camps for children and teenagers who are struggling with cancer. She shared with me this lovely story of a 10-year-old boy.

The camp had a Carnival Night where children played games to win “bucks” that can be used to buy toys. What stood out about this boy was that he was running from game to game trying to collect as many bucks as possible. After the Carnival ended, the counsellors helped him count his bucks and he bought a beautiful doll. What was so kind about that? The prize he won wasn't for himself but a gift for his younger sister.

Week 4 Kindness Story: A Sister's Love

 

Have you ever met someone who’s so impressive it should be maddening but because they are such a lovely person all you feel is inspired? That’s my sister, Laurie. Although she sent me two kindness stories about other people for this project, I decided she deserves a story just about her.

In my early 20’s I had made an emergency appointment with my psychiatrist because I was starting to feel unsafe living on my own. During that appointment he decided he was going to admit me into the psychiatric ward for the first time because my depression and psychosis were getting out of control. Stunned and terrified, I drove straight to Laurie’s office after my appointment to let her know what was happening. Through tears we decided that she would take me to the hospital that night.

                Although that first night was horrible, what I found out later warmed my heart. Laurie had brought her pajamas to the hospital so that she could sleep on the floor next to me. Imagine volunteering to stay in a place where there were some very mentally ill people just so your little sister wouldn’t be so scared? I’d call that a pretty substantial act of kindness.

Week 3 Kindness Stories: The Art of Listening

I have this knack for creating a safe space for people to open up about their struggles without fear of judgement. When I used to work in hospitality this happened frequently. Strangers would just start telling me about their relationship and work problems or even past childhood trauma and addictions. Often, they would share a lot of personal information and then look at me surprised and say,” I have no idea why I just told you that”.

Although I do have strong active listening skills, I believe strangers share their innermost struggles with me because they don’t feel they have anywhere else to share them. They are looking for people who are willing to put away distractions and hold space for them without judgement or advice. I think an amazing act of kindness is to listen to someone else’s struggles with compassion and curiosity. 

People carry around countless worries about life and they often don’t even realize it until someone actually gives them the time and space to unburden themselves.

Week 2 Kindness Stories: A Kind Word in a Struggling World

 

How many parents reading this feel like they’re failing their children at least once a week? Once a day? Mallory, a mom of 2, believes that a great random act of kindness is taking the time to offer a parent empathy and encouragement. Someone to witness their struggle and tell them what an awesome job they’re doing.

A few weeks ago, Mallory was watching her son’s basketball game and noticed how the coach was trying to balance instructing the team and entertaining her own children. Both children, under 5, were climbing the coach as if she were a tree and asking a spit fire of questions like only preschoolers can. What stood out to Mallory was how this coach didn’t seem to get frustrated but remained “calm, cool, and collected”. At the end of the game Mallory made sure to stop and let the coach know how impressed she was with her parenting skills.

What I find amazing about humans is that we often give to others what we, ourselves, need. We resonate with their struggle and extend the empathy and support that we crave.

My Otherworldly Abilities

 

It was a scary moment when I realized that I could trust someone enough to expose parts of myself that others had judged me for. That I could share things that had made others uncomfortable, and this person would actually support and encourage me in these areas.

For some time, I’ve had some otherworldly abilities that I can’t always explain and for a myriad of reasons I started to hide. They were just one more way to feel weird and unlovable. But I’ve found someone who believes I have these abilities and can do these things and that makes all the difference. We may not come to the same conclusions as to why or how, and honestly the truth is usually a hodge podge of beliefs, but he trusts I am having these experiences.

There are a couple ways these abilities have shown up in my life. I can sense and “communicate” with people who were once alive, like my sister, and sometimes it’s like I can tap into an energy that can’t be seen. This is particularly useful when I want to tap into a greater source of creativity.

I spend so much time feeling uncomfortable and embarrassed by these abilities but really, they are gifts. I want to celebrate them as a useful skill and not something shameful that needs to be kept hidden.

Week 1 Kindness Stories: Small Acts, Big Changes

  (Photograph includes Steph's grandpa and wife.)

 

One of my favourite people is Steph and I’ve been lucky enough to call her my friend for almost 30 years. She is the epitome of kindness so it’s no surprise that her acts of kindness story was the first one I received.

In the 1960’s, Steph’s grandpa was a school janitor in Vancouver. While cleaning the hallways during lunch he started to notice that some children would throw out sandwiches and fruit they didn’t want and then at the end of the day another child would come along and dig them out of the garbage. He soon found out that this child's family didn't have enough money to provide him with lunches.

This thoughtful man was quite poor himself, with a low paying job and 4 kids to feed. He knew what it meant to struggle and wanted to help where he could. He decided that when he saw a child about to throw out food, he’d tell them to put it on a windowsill instead. This meant the hungry child could come pick what they wanted without having to hunt through the garbage.

Over time, like many small acts of kindness, this grew into something much larger. These sandwiches and fruit left on a windowsill inspired the school to adopt its first lunch program. When we can use our own struggles to create empathy and change, that’s a beautiful thing.

Your Stories of Kindness

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been feeling hopeless because of all the challenges we’re facing at the moment. I’ve had this desire to make some grand contribution to create a kinder and more joyful world but all that does is overwhelm me and then I shut down. So, I've decided to try a smaller, more achievable goal. Each week, for 10 weeks, I’m going to share a story about kindness. I believe the world needs to be reminded of and inspired by the random acts of kindness that exist around us each and every day.

 This is where I need YOUR help.

 Do you have any random acts of kindness stories to share? It could be as simple as you giving someone a compliment or picking up trash on your favourite trail. Maybe a stranger bought you a coffee at Starbucks or helped you carry groceries to your car. It’s not the size of the act that’s important, it’s the care put into it.

Please DM or email me your story at brandinixon@hotmail.com.  It can remain anonymous if you like.