About once a month I get together with some lovely ladies for dinner. Sometimes we’re with our spouses but more often it’s just us. There’s something almost magical about having a posse of ladies behind you no matter what. When we’re together we don’t need to be the caretaker or organizer. We don’t need to be mom or wife or daughter. More and more I’m seeing the enormous mental and emotional load woman carry around and how heavy and lonely it can be. The responsibility we’ve taken on to keep those we love as happy and comfortable as possible, no matter the cost to us, can seem enormous at times. I feel like a bit of a fan girl to be honest. So, this is a love letter to all the amazing ladies that fill my life.
I cherish your ability to create genuine connection. Whether it’s over coffee or cocktails there’s no moments of awkward silence. Often there’s laughter and silliness but sometimes there’s tears and angry rants. There’s no competition, jealousy, or pettiness. Just a warm space to be raw, honest, and ourselves.
I’m amazed by how much sh*t you can fit into one day. Your color-coded iPhone calendars with everyone's (EVERYONE’S) activities filling up the days looks daunting. Dropping off kids at school, dance, band, hockey, all the doctors and dentist appointments plus work schedules. There are literally no days without a dot to remind you which roles you need to fulfill that day. Wife, mom, daughter, employee, sister, friend and sometimes all of the above. Even my calendar has a lot of dots without any kids so I can’t even imagine how utterly exhausted you must get and yet you keep going because the sh*t needs to get done.
I’m honored to be a witness to your messiness. The imperfections you may try and hide from most of the world provides the richness and flavor to our relationship. I’m humbled when you share all that makes you feel broken knowing that we’ve created a space safe enough to hold all that shame, pain, and heaviness.
What I wish for those ladies I love, and those I don’t know, is that you can see how spectacular you are. How you are often the foundation of your families, sometimes even the extended ones, and how you carry that with grace, patience, and even a little humor. If I could come to each of your houses and celebrate how wonderful you are I would, but honestly there’s just not enough days in our calendars without dots.
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