There’s this guy I know. We’ll call him Joe. One of the great things about Joe is that he seems genuinely happy just being wherever he is, doing whatever he’s doing. I’m not saying he doesn’t have struggles. He’s human, after all. But what I love about the way he lives is the sense of flow it seems to create.
The nemesis of flow is constant analysis, and this is where I falter. My brain is always searching for patterns, reasons, and the bigger meaning behind everything. What does this situation say about you, me, and the state of the world around me? I'm stuck in an endless loop of depth created by heaviness and fear, a depth that may have helped me survive at one point but now just leaves me exhausted and teary-eyed when someone talks about being in a state of flow.
Sometimes I watch people on the bus and wonder what thoughts are running their lives. Maybe that thirty-something man who is laughing as he texts is sending an emoji in response to a silly meme of a howling husky puppy. Or that twenty-something woman picking at her nails is making a mental note to book a mani-pedi this week.
I used to think it was sad that people didn’t spend as much time as I did searching for depth and meaning. I believed it meant I would somehow have a more fulfilling and purposeful life. But in reality, it keeps me from truly living in the only thing that is real — this one moment.
How great would it be if I could spend less time trying to figure out the why and simply be content with the what.
